We have decided to get Bella's tonsils removed. It breaks my heart to think about it...Actually, today for the pre-operation appointment, I was sick to my stomach. Just ridiculously nervous. And then the blood work...I'm thankful that her daddy takes care of those things. I just heard her screaming, and I knew I wouldn't have done well back there. He's a good man.
So, next Friday, we'll take our itty-bitty, baby girl to the surgical center for surgery. I'm not looking forward to it at all.
It's crazy that we have to make decisions for our children - even decisions that will be physically painful for them. I know that she is in pain now, and I know that the surgery will cause even more pain. The nurse today told us not to look in her throat after the surgery because it will look like something from a sci-fi movie! What the heck are they going to do to my baby!?! But I know that she will be better afterwards. She'll sleep better...talk better...just all around be better...after the healing period...which is about 2 weeks.
I believe that God allows us to go through things that are painful to help us be better afterwards. It is not a pleasant experience to go through...and sometimes it feels like it could be a part of a science-fiction movie...but once the pain heals, I can be a better person if I choose to be. God doesn't force anything on us, but He allows us to have the opportunity to grow.
I'm nervous for her. Really nervous. Sick to my stomach about the whole thing. Yet I know that this is the best thing for her right now. And she's 2, so she won't remember much of anything about it. And she has no choice right now but to trust my opinion about it. I am doing what I believe is best for her.
God has my best interest in mind too. He does things for me because He knows what is best for me...even when He knows it will hurt. Yet the difference in scenarios is I have a choice to trust Him or not. I want to do my best to trust Him at all times in every situation and circumstance. Even when it hurts.