I feel like I live on a roller coaster at times. Up and down...way up...way down...It's unbelievable how fast it can happen. I am not a huge fan of roller coasters...and it has probably been 10 years since I've been on one. I remember standing in line for hours and hours for a lot of roller coasters Labor Day weekend at Six Flags in Arlington, and the ride itself was over in less than 5 minutes...some of them were even less than 2 minutes...and I was in line for it for an hour. Was it really worth all that wait?
And the buildup to get to the top seems so slow, and then the downfall is so fast...hmmm...sounds like my life at times.
I must say, that I personally feel like I'm on the upside. I don't feel like I'm on a downward spiral that is never going to end. That is a good thing. I've been down in the dumps before...it's no fun for me or anyone around me! Poor Lee doesn't know what to do when those moments happen.
I think what happens is when I feel down, I feel like I'm all alone. Like no one understands. Being a mom (in my world at least) feels very lonely at times. And it took me a long time to not feel left out all of the time. It was weird how life seemed to just move on without me...How Lee and I began to live in totally different worlds, when for so long we lived in the same world. After having Bella was when we had to begin to work really hard on our marriage - more importantly, our friendship. We had to (and still have to) work to find things in common. Just like any friends can grow apart with time, a husband and wife can too. It takes a lot of work to stay together on the same page...and in the same world.
I'm happy to say that I don't feel left out anymore. When Bella was little, I did feel left out. Even isolated. I tried to be a part of things only to be frustrated. Now, I don't let it bother me. Ok, so occasionally it does get to me, but then I have to think through it. At the moment, my kids are still little, but...It will not be this way forever...
And I'm realizing more and more that I'm not alone in this whole mommy business. There are so many women who are where I am, who have been where I am, and who will be where I am. That is a comforting feeling...I don't feel so crazy! :)
So, wherever you are...whatever you are facing...just remember...It will not be this way forever...the roller coaster ride ends, you get off, and get in line for another one - that's the joy of being in the amusement park of life!!!