Our Last Week of Louisiana Celebrations

It was a full week of celebrations.

On Friday we had dinner with friends...our final "supper club" meeting here in Lafayette...We had some great laughs...I laughed so hard that I cried. It was definitely what I needed. I've come to enjoy that group of friends and their company. And I was happy that we were able to eat with a few of them again! :) 

We did amazingly well on our yard sale...we made a lot of money and we got rid of a lot of stuff!! It felt so good getting rid of it as well as getting a little money for it. It's not something that I want to do all of the time, but it's definitely something that I will do again!! Probably on a smaller scale though. And believe it or not, we are still getting rid of stuff as we go through it to pack up. I definitely want to move with less than what we've got now. 

On Tuesday we loaded up our living room and dining room furniture as well as our washer & dryer in a trailer for my cousins who bought it all from us. It is weird having an empty house, but it's exciting knowing that we will get to pick out new (or new to us) things once we get up to Colorado. And again, it's less stuff we have to fit in a moving trailer. 

That same Tuesday we went to my parents house in Buras. When we got there, my dad had already set up and was about to start our shrimp boil. The Lathams and a few other guests came over to eat with us...and it really was a celebration. It's something that I love about my family. They know how to do it big. It's a blessing to have grown up in that kind of environment.

It was hard leaving Buras on Wednesday...one of those things you just don't want to do. And I shed a few tears in the car...it's just hard leaving. With a newborn coming in November, I know it will be a while before I make it down there again. I'm so thankful for Skype that I get to see my parents faces when we talk to them now. My kids get really excited...and they look forward to talking on the computer. 

We went to church on Wednesday night and then out to eat with friends afterwards. My kids were a little dunzo from the long day of traveling. But was still good to spend time with those friends. 

On Thursday night we had dinner with the Chi Alpha staff. (I'm noticing more and more that our celebrations revolved around food!!) This was a fun, relaxing night. We've enjoyed being a part of the UL Chi Alpha family...and honestly, this community is just as hard to be away from as our families. 

They believe in us and what we are doing...and that means so much...and they are sad to let us go. 

I didn't think my last Chi Alpha event would be a wedding...and I didn't think it would be as emotional as it was for me. Tony and Lindsay (Mula) Jones were married on Saturday. So, we were in Thibodaux for the rehearsal on Friday night since Lee was performing part of the ceremony and Bella was the flowergirl. Tony & Lindsay are super special to our family. Lee often says that Tony is the reason that he did Chi Alpha. I've known Lindsay for 9 years. She was one of the first people who Bella would stay with as a baby...and we were able to have date nights because of her. :) 

It didn't hit me until we were about to leave the reception. It had been a beautiful wedding ceremony and a wonderful celebration at their reception. I loved every second of it. When Lindsay asked us if we were leaving, she started crying because she said, "I just realized that I won't see ya'll again..." 

Then the hugs started with the other Chi Alpha staff and students who were there...the ones who I won't see for a long time most likely...and my heart broke all over again. I couldn't hold back the tears that were flowing. I hugged Lance Dunn for a long time. He thanked me for letting my husband spend so much time with him and the guys...The hugs and tears continued even as I was walking out the door. 

I know that we will be a part of a wonderful community when we get to Colorado. And I know that so much of what we bring to the community will be from what we've gained over the last  5 years in Lafayette. There is something so special about our Chi Alpha family here at UL. 

Sunday was our last time to go to church at Crossroads here in Lafayette. We were so encouraged by the people who were stopping us to tell us they were praying for us...that they are excited for us...that they love us. We are so thrilled to be a part of Crossroads Connection Church in Denver. It's going to be an amazing adventure for our family...

As we continue to pack up our house and belongings, our hearts are filled with love, excitement, and peace that God is with us. He is leading us and guiding us. It would be easy to stay in the comfort here, but there is something waiting for us...something God has called us to do, and we have answered. 

On Friday we are heading up to Colorado...

Moving Day...

It's really happening. 

An 18-wheeler trailer will be parked in our yard 2 weeks from tomorrow, and we will pack it with our belongings and meet it in Denver, Colorado. 

I know it may be a shock to some of you who haven't heard that we are moving. 

We have accepted the invitation to be the associate pastors and worship leaders at the Connection Church in Highlands Ranch, Colorado. 

We know that God has called us there to be a part of this, and we are so excited to accept that call and invitation. 

We will be working with our good friends Shawn & Amy Reine who were youth pastors in Louisiana for several years and moved to Denver almost 3 years ago. We are sooooo excited to be working with them as our campus pastors!! 

And we are excited that Crossroads Church here in Lafayette will be what is called our "parent -affiliate church" or our "mother church" - so we are not going on our own!! Pastor Jeff & Ms. Donna and the wonderful family of Crossroads will be behind us the whole way!!!!!!! That's a great feeling!

We will be considered staff, but we will not receive a salary from the church until Connection Church is established. We've lived as missionaries for the past 5 years, and our salary has come from our family and friends. 

We have asked our support team members to consider supporting us for 1 more year...

And Lee will be getting a job to supplement our income. 

The cost of living is almost twice as much as it is here for us. That's overwhelming at times, but we know that God is in control. We know that He is going to provide the perfect place for us...and our temporary housing will be an adventure as well! :) 

It's a very bittersweet time for us. 

We had to say goodbye to our students - most of them have already returned home for the summer. We won't be here when they return. That was a hard goodbye. 

We are having to say goodbye to the wonderful staff that we've been with over the 5 years we have been here. They have become like family to us. We love them so dearly. We have grown and have learned so much while we've been here, and we know that we are going to Colorado as a representation of Crossroads as well as UL Chi Alpha. 

We are having to say goodbye to my parents. They don't travel much, and with grandbabies and a newborn on the way, the thought of the distance is killing them. 

But we are excited about the adventure that is before us. 

This Saturday we will have a MASSIVE yard sale to lighten our load. We've already sold most of our furniture...some outdoor stuff...and we are hoping to leave with a lot less than what we have now. 

It's an insane thought at times...and I know it will cost to "start over," but we are looking forward to the fresh start. A new beginning to a new adventure. 

We know that we are taking a risk for God. And it's crazy that not all of the pieces have fallen into place before we move up there. But it's exciting trusting Jesus that He's in control, He's working things out...He's has great things for us!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee and I have been talking about wanting to live a life worth telling. One of my favorite missionaries (he's retired now) is Rodney Tilley. His family has amazing stories of what God did in and through them...they literally had to run to a helicopter to be lifted out of the country they were in...leaving everything behind to save their lives...I cannot even imagine...but they were risking it all for the call of Christ. 

I don't think I'll have to be air-lifted out of Highlands Ranch, but I'm willing to risk it all for the call of Christ on our lives. These are exciting times!!!!!!!

Hearing the Heartbeat

I had my first OB check up today. Once the doctor got in the room with us, it was a short, quick visit. 

The exciting thing was that we got to hear the heartbeat. The nurse warned us that it's still early enough in the game that we may not hear the heart, but if we didn't we would go to the next room to have an ultrasound. 

But there was no need for that...we heard a strong, 150 bpm heartbeat!! 

Dr. Hardey said everything looked great...no issues...which is all very comforting. It's good to know that I'm ok and this baby is ok. 

Brennan was in the room with me & Lee to hear the heartbeat. I wish I could have seen his face when he heard it. For the few minutes after that while we were talking to the doctor, Brennan wanted me to hold him...and then he lifted his shirt a little with one hand, and with the other pointed to the doppler. It was precious. Dr. Hardey said it wouldn't hurt him to do it...but I told Brennan that he didn't have anything in his belly...

For almost 9 years now, we've prayed for happy, healthy babies. This is a huge time of trust for me. I want to believe so badly that God is going to answer our prayers. 

I do not want doubt to get the best of me. 

I'm not really looking forward to going through the labor & delivery again. Mostly the labor. Those are some intense pains. And I know I could have an epidural, but I've had a few friends who have had horrible nerve damage done because of epidurals...and I know that I can do this naturally...it just hurts. 

But, it's worth it. There will be another beautiful Blakney baby added to our family. Bella says that it's a boy. We'll find out the first week of June if she's right or not. :) 

God's Knitting in My Belly

I am now 13 weeks pregnant.

My belly is shaped quite differently...although I haven't gained a lot of weight. My shape is changing a lot sooner than it did with the last 2 babies, but this is not the first time it's doing this.

It's exciting that it's starting to show that I'm pregnant. That there is a baby being knit together by the hands of God inside of me. - That's a deep thought...

Psalms 139:13 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."

That is so exciting. Such a neat picture of what is going on inside of me. And that all this that we are going through has a purpose...a Divine Purpose that God is working on even now.


I thought the sickness would be over at this point...but it's not. At all. Yesterday I was sick all afternoon and evening...so much so that my stomach was growling because I was hungry, but I couldn't make myself eat. Nothing - absolutely nothing - was appealing to me...the thought of food made me want to vomit...I couldn't even look at pinterest...seeing pictures of food made me more nauseous.

I cannot believe that I'm still feeling sick. I should be over this.

But I'm not. Ulgh. Just not fun.

It makes it difficult on everyone, but everyone is handling it well. My kids are troopers...they will settle for kisses, hugs and snuggles on the couch with books and movies...

Lee is handling it pretty well too. He's taking good care of me and the kids. He has said he feels helpless at times because there's nothing to make me feel better...but by him taking care of the kids when he's here with us means everything to me.

I know that this will pass soon and be just a memory.

Before we know it we'll be having another baby.

During the hard times, when there's nothing but frustration, it's hard to see the end is in sight...but it is. It's not going to be like this forever.

One of my favorite quotes is, "It all works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end."

So true.

There is an end in sight.

And although I could feel nauseated throughout this pregnancy, I'm believing and praying that I won't. I pray that I will be able to enjoy the extra energy surges of the 2nd trimester. That I'll be able to play with my kids and do everything that I need and want to do.

Thanks for praying with me!!!

I May Not Look Pregnant...But I Am!

Just when I think I'm feeling better...I get hit with a huge wave of all day nausea. Absolutely no fun. I'm sure the exhaustion I felt from some late nights and early mornings at our Louisiana Assemblies of God District Council meetings didn't help. 

I keep telling Lee that this time of sickness is going to go away...I'll be over it soon. I mean, I'm almost 13 weeks along in this pregnancy! But it's not over for me yet. 

Being pregnant is a scary yet exciting adventure - and not just for me, but for Lee & the kids too. 

I feel like an awful mom when all I want to do is lay on the couch because if I move too much I may vomit. 

And I feel like an awful wife when Lee comes home to a messy house...and a less than ideal dinner...and then we bathe kids and get them ready for bed...and I fall asleep before all of them!!

But, this is a season. Soon I will be feeling better, have more energy, eat everything in sight...all the good things about being pregnant. 

It's a hard season because I don't look very pregnant on the outside, but I feel very pregnant on the inside. 

Lee & I were watching TV last night - a night that I didn't fall asleep with the kids...and there was a sweet little baby laying in a crib...and he said, "Awww...we are going to have another one like that..." 

That's exciting. And that's what this whole process is all about. 

I still wonder why God chose us to be parents yet again. There are so many married couples that I know who are desperately wanting...desiring...begging God for children...and yet He chose me again. 

It's another mystery that I don't understand...and one that I don't want to take for granted. 

And it gives me more fervor to pray for my friends who long to have children of their own. 

I've seen miracles happen. Women who were told they would never have children become pregnant...

And one of the crazy things is...my dad has faith to pray for these women. Some he prayed for years for...and they've had children...and some haven't. 

It's not up to my dad to decide who has a baby or not...it's up to God. 

And it's not my place to question Him. How can the clay ask the Potter, "What are you doing to me?" 

I am in His hands...longing to be shaped and molded into the woman He wants me to be. And He has the right to do whatever that takes to get me to be that woman. 

I can't ask for anything more. 

Confident - Not Insecure

It's a great feeling when Lee & I are on the same page.

It's hard when we are not on the same page or even in the same book...

Miscommunication is one of the most frustrating parts of our marriage. 

It's not that we are not communicating, we are just not communicating correctly. 

I have found that I get super defensive when we talk about things that I'm insecure about. 

Hyper-defensive. 

And that is a hard habit for me to change. 

I have to almost remove myself from the conversation...

Lee graciously points out, "I'm not attacking you...I'm just saying..."

It's still hard for me. I still get defensive even when I know he's not attacking me. 

And it all boils down to me being insecure. 

And boy am I insecure about certain things...

And I feel like I have to prove to Lee that I'm right...justify my actions or thoughts.

Communication is hard for me. I'd rather write about it or think about it...but to put it into words is not my favorite thing to do.

I know that Lee is for me, not against me. He wants me to win, to succeed in life. And I know that he wants that for our marriage and family too.

I just need to get over myself. To be open and honest with myself and with him. To let down my guard and look at the bigger picture of things instead of looking at my own insecurities.

I want to improve in this area! I don't want to stay the same!! I want to change, to be a better wife and communicator with the man who loves me so deeply. I want to be able to walk through my insecurities with him - knowing that he cares for me...and he loves me the way that I am...and he sees the woman I am beyond my insecurities. And that is the woman he wants me to be - confident and not insecure.

I am so blessed to have a husband who pushes me beyond what I am to what God has created me to be. I am empowered to be a confident woman because of the confident man walking along side me with his hand on the small of my back. 

Rejoicing and Mourning...

I'm starting to feel better during the day...which is a miracle. Thank you for those who have been praying. 


And I know that I'm getting closer to the second trimester because I'm starting to get a little more energy. Last night as I was picking up toys in the living room, Lee said, "you must be feeling better..." It was definitely noticeable. 


And as I get closer to the second trimester, I still have a little fear of losing this baby too. 


I mean, I know it can happen. 


Thanks to social media, I am aware of a lot more friends who are either in the process of getting pregnant, wanting to be pregnant, or losing a baby...even full-term babies. Those are rare, but it still happens. 


This is all such a painful process. 


I don't want to take my healthy kids for granted. 


I don't want to take this pregnancy for granted...even if it doesn't go like I think it will. 


It amazes me the women who get pregnant without any plans or complications...and then it amazes me that there are so many women who want to be pregnant so badly and yet they remain barren for years and years...sometimes forever. 


I don't understand. I definitely don't have any answers. It's hard for me to even think of words to comfort those who are mourning in this area. And I know that life is hard for these ladies and their families...seeing and hearing of other's pregnancy joys can bring sorrow and bitterness...


All I can do is pray and trust God that He knows what is best. 


And those words seem so calloused sometimes...and unless they are accompanied by His peace, they offer no comfort. 


Romans 12 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I'm currently working on memorizing the whole chapter - all 21 verses. There is so much power and encouragement in those verses. I want them in my heart. 


Verse 15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."


And that is what I will do. And I believe God gives us grace to do both at the same time. Rejoice with those who are pregnant and have babies...and mourn with those who are still longing. 


God's grace is enough for me...all that I need to rejoice and mourn...and live life to the fullest no matter what my circumstances may look like.