But I kinda like having everything here. Someday I may update it more, but for just writing like I am doing, this is a perfect place for me to share!
I haven't posted something since 2016 - that's 3 years!
Oh My Word!
I'm sure there are a ton of posts I could look back on and catch up on, but just like I teach with my journaling class...just jump in where you are.
It's been a different kind of season of life.
Most people see our highlight reel on social media, whenever I decide to post (which is few and far between nowadays)...
Most people don't see the day to day life...the daily struggles...the mental battles we go through...
And to be honest, I haven't felt compelled to share them. Maybe someday. Maybe just one for now...
It's a quieter season of life. More secluded.
I still struggle with the false feeling like I need to appear like I have everything together. And honestly, nothing is "really" wrong...just struggles with the expectations I set on myself and I assume are set on me by others.
That's a dangerous place to be! haha
It's dangerous because I don't allow myself to be the special child of God that I was created to be. I try to cover my imperfections instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to work on me.
I've been dealing a lot with anger. I never really thought that was something I would struggle with as a believer.
Little things make me angry. Big things make me angry. One mention of something can be like pulling a trigger on a grenade and seconds later it just explodes. I explode. Or implode...and Lee is the one who sees it.
It's been a struggle.
I could blame it on "getting older so the hormones are changing..." or being tired because Breelee still doesn't sleep through the night, and when she does, Brennan doesn't...
But it's in me.
Recently my dad preached at church, and he focused on the Scripture::
Hebrews 12:1-3 New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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Each and every time I get angry.
I want to throw it off. I want to run the race of faith without being entangled. And now that I am aware of this, I must do something about it. It will take much prayer, gentle guidance from the Holy Spirit, and accountability from my husband.
The enemy does not want this though, and I seem to get more opportunities to work through this than I'd like.
But I must keep going. We all must keep going!
When you feel like there something is entangling you, what do you do to keep going?
