Friday, January 28, 2011

My Newest Inspiration - My Wedding Ring

I woke up thinking today is February 1st. I can start something new's the beginning of the month. Honestly, though, I can start something new any day that I wake up. It's a new day. Sure, there's things that have carried over from yesterday. Things that I didn't accomplish yesterday that I need to do today. But today is a new day. It doesn't have to look like yesterday. And it doesn't have to look like tomorrow. It's today.

I know that this is a simple concept, but I just have remind myself of this. It's a new day. The Bible says that God has new mercies for us every day. So, today, there are new mercies for me. I may have been a jerk yesterday, but today is different. I don't have to live in regret of yesterday. I can ask for forgiveness, and then move on. It's a new day. I don't have to live in guilt of that. I can move on.

I still want to run a 5k. It's not happening as quickly as I would like it to. We haven't looked for a good running area around our house. It's just an excuse. But my new desire is to be able to wear my wedding ring again. My finger is still too big for it. I keep trying it on in hopes that it will fit. I refuse to get it resized because it has been almost too big for me, even before this last pregnancy. I'm ready to wear it. So, this is going to require a change in my diet (less sodium) and also exercise.

The thing about putting this on my blog is that it leaves me open to accountability...other people see it. I can say I'm going to do these things, but once they are written down, there is a better chance of it happening. It's been 5 months now since Brennan entered the outside's time for me to get back into my pre-preggo clothes and beyond.

The first time I really lost a lot of weight - really it was a lot of inches - happened after college. I was a size 12 when I graduated from college. I wasn't complaining...I didn't really care, but I had gained weight during college. That's a whole different story. When I was teaching at the middle school, I started going to a yoga/pilates class twice a week at the YMCA in Buras. I started eating salads at lunch. I lost inches! The realization came to me at the Louisiana Assemblies of God Youth Convention...It was when the mall was rented out and open only for convention students from 10 pm - midnight or something like that. Anyways, I was in the GAP trying on a jean skirt that was on sale. I tried on an 8 and it was loose. So, I asked Lee to get me a 6. He flung it over the top of the changing room door...and I tried it on...and it fit perfectly. I started screaming "I fit in a 6." My friends were so happy for me. I was so happy for me!!! The next day, I wore the skirt to the Friday services of youth convention. I had a girl come up to me and ask, "Is that your size 6 skirt?" She had heard me screaming in the store.
That was such a good moment for me. I want to have that feeling again. I know that I can get there; it's just going to take me a little more time. I'm almost 10 years older and have had 2 kids. that's a big difference!! But, I am ready for the challenge. I'm ready for that good feeling once again...wearing my wedding ring and fitting into a smaller size. Ok, pilates video, here we go!!!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Lessons from Rainbows

I'm so proud of my husband. His truck hasn't been running for a couple of weeks now. It really wasn't too bad. I'm not brave enough to get out too many places with 2 little ones. But, the trapped feelings had begun setting in. He would ask me if I could meet him somewhere, or pick up something, and I couldn't because I didn't have a car.

But, now his truck is running yet again. Such a blessing! And I'm so proud of him for fixing it himself! It was not an easy task, but he was determined to make it work. And he did.

Things don't always go the way that we think that they will. When they don't, it's easy to get super frustrated. Sometimes we can have an end of the rainbow experience, and we can see why things happened the way that they did. Many people may not know this, but 5 1/2 years ago, Lee and I lost 95% of our belongings in a U-haul fire. Irreplaceable things were gone. It was a very hard time for us. About a month and a half later, Hurricane Katrina wiped away my childhood home along with most of my extended family's homes as well. It was not the same experience, but it was the same kind of loss. We were able to empathize with my family. It meant a lot to me to be able to understand.

Then there are times when we don't get the understanding of why things happened the way that they did. There's no end of the rainbow...maybe not even a rainbow in sight. It's just a mystery left to be. We can be confident of this, though: "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it..." and "All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose..."

Thursday, January 20, 2011

End of an Era

Lee's parents are officially on their way out of Louisiana. They are finishing up the week here, and then they will begin working together at SAGU in Texas. They were at our house for dinner last night, and when they left, there was a tangible void in the room. Lee and I didn't really talk about it...we didn't have to. Honestly, I don't think we could talk about it...

I knew it was going to be hard to adjust to. I knew that there would be a noticeable difference with them gone. We don't see them all the time, but they are not just an hour and a half away anymore. It's not a get-a-way for us. It's more like 6 hours. And they don't have as much flexibility in their schedules now. So, we will usually only be able to see them on the weekends. And weekends aren't really open for us because of our schedule. It's just tougher than I thought it would be...They have been a source of encouragement in the times when we've needed it most. They've been wonderful babysitters who have helped me be a part of the Chi Alpha world. And now that has changed.

I know that they are excited about their jobs. We are excited for them, too. They have a beautiful new home where the whole family will fit when we are able to visit. It's going to be fun being together. They are close to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex and will have a ton of fun exploring. They are surrounded by wonderful people who will love them and enjoy them. They will get to pour into young people's lives - a crazy comparison to a full-time, semester long Young Minister's Institute (YMI), which is something that I hope those young people cherish...I hope they know how blessed they are to have the Blakneys in their world.

Change has never been easy for me. I'm thankful for the impact that they have made on my life. I'm a better person because of what they've poured into me over the past 15+ years. I'm so thankful for the man they have husband is a wonderful man with godly examples to follow. I'm thankful for skype and cell phones...and knowing that they will be there for us whenever we may need them.

This is definitely the end of an era in Louisiana...but it's the beginning of a new adventure. A bittersweet time for our Blakney household.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Potty Training Day 1

I decided to give potty training a go for it. Bella has been telling us lately - not all of the time but often enough - that she needs a diaper change. So, I thought I'd try today. Someone said to put big girl panties on her, and if she pees in them, let her walk around in them wet for a while. I didn't know how long that would last though...she can take them off herself!

I put on her on the potty and she peepeed a little. So, I gave her a sucker and put her big girl panties on.

I asked her, "What do you do when you have to pee pee?"
She said, "Pee pee on potty."
I said, "What do you get if you pee pee on the potty?"
She said, "I get a sucker."

So, she knows the drill. She is wearing her big girl panties around the house, and I just know that I'm going to have to clean the floors soon.

It was nice outside, and I knew it was going to when she asked to go outside, I told her we could go. First she had to sit on her potty and then put pants on. Not even a minute later, she comes walking into the living room holding her potty. "Look, mommy, water in it."

She had peepeed through her panties. Yes, she sat on the potty like she was supposed to. She just didn't understand to pull down her panties. So, after dumping the potty, she brought me a diaper. That was enough potty training for one day.

Friday, January 14, 2011

She Needs an Audience

Lee's truck has been out of commission. Completely. Totally not running. To be honest, it really hasn't been too bad for a homebody like me. I don't mind staying home. Especially when it's cold and windy. But my little girl likes to go.

I think God gave her to me to keep me from becoming a complete recluse. I could just stay home, but my little girl needs to be outside of our be around other people. She thrives on an her daddy. He is my rockstar, and I get to be his audience. I get to be Bella's audience too. She's a rockstar in training... And it's special when she gets to have others there saying how cute she is, how smart she is. You know, a mom is supposed to feel that way about her child, but when someone else says it...I guess it's just different.

Either way it goes, I'm thrilled to be the audience for her and her daddy, whether it's just me or a room full of people.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Brother and Sister

Brennan is a rolling champ. He's starting to roll all over the place. Bella didn't do that. She would roll to her back or to her tummy, but she would stay in one spot. He's all over the place. He's going to be a mover and a shaker in a totally different way than Bella. They are both going to change the world...I just know it.

It's hard to believe that 4 months have gone by. In some ways, it seems like Brennan has been around for longer. He fits in well with our family. Bella loves him, and he adores her. He often reaches out to touch her when she's close, and he laughs when she is being silly. She'll tell me or Lee, "Want to see Brennan smile?" It's precious. I hope that they always make each other laugh.

My brother, Joe, was good at making me laugh when we were kids. He was also good at making me mad. Sometimes I look back and realize that I should have been laughing at some of those times when I was mad. Joe's really good at making people's one of the qualities I admire about him the most.

I hope that Brennan and Bella have a good relationship. I hope that they are close. That they rely on each other. That they look out for each other. That they encourage each other. It's a special relationship that only they can share.