A 4 Week Difference...

It's hard to believe that just a little over 4 weeks ago we were packing up in the snow and ice with mountains as our background. 

Now I am looking out a window at a beautiful yard with a mud puddle in the driveway that my children get excited about it filling back up!  

In some ways it feels like we've been here longer than a month. 

We've been able to reconnect with some amazing friends who live in this area or close enough to make a drive to see us. 

We had my niece spend the whole weekend with us our first weekend here! The girl cousins were thrilled with all that time together!!

We've been able to go to my mom and dad's house together as a family...something we haven't done in 2 and a half years (thanks to my husband's selfless sacrifices of sending me to my parents for Thanksgiving for 2 years). 

We've been able to spend time with another homeschooling family who has a daughter the same age as Bella! Jenelle has been an amazing resource to me - even before we started homeschooling, I picked her brain about her experiences since she's successfully homeschooled 5 children! She has encouraged me as we were 1300 miles apart, but now that we are in the same neck of the woods, being around her and her awesome kids makes me feel so much more normal. 

We are going to continue homeschooling for the remainder of this year and then assess where we will go from there. We've already been welcomed into local co-ops, field trips, play dates, and we attended a Valentine's Day party last week!! 

Lee is doing well at the Apple Store at Lakeside!! We are both so thankful that he has a job that he loves. He gets to be himself...the man I love. The man who loves people until it hurts. 

It is so refreshing. 

All of it. 

I look forward to what is ahead because I do believe the best is yet to come. 

In High Demand...

Being a mom of little ones has to be the most demanding job there is. 

I know that there may be more challenging jobs. And even as a parent, there are difficult and challenging seasons and stages...

But with having 3 little ones that are ages 6 and under...the demands seem endless. 

Food has to be prepared for them. All of the time. And when 1 seems to be going through a growth spurt, the others follow suit and want to eat all of the things in the house all of the time.  

When one is sick, that one consumes my day by staying put in my lap. 

And there are many tears shed by that 1 when I get up to get food or anything else for the other ones. 

It is just straight up demanding. 

I try to breath slowly and calm my nerves as I am fixing something for one and getting asked repeatedly for something else by the others. 

It doesn't matter if I acknowledge them and let them know I am aware of their requests. They are only quiet when the requested thing is in front of them. Then they are satisfied for 5 minutes. Maybe.

I hear from my other mom friends who have older children (these amazing women in my life whom I love dearly) that this is a stage...it won't always look like this. 

It will look different as you wait with your teenager to see if he passed or failed his driving test...

It will look different as you hold your crying teenager who is suffering from a broken heart...

It will look different. 

I know that there will be a time when I will ask my kids if I can fix something for them to eat instead of hearing their demands from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to sleep.

I am doing my best to embrace this season of life. 

Lord, help me to appreciate the demands. Help me be thankful that I have happy, healthy children who are growing...and you've provided food for our family to ensure they continue to be healthy and full of life. 
Help me to continue to show them patience...that it is ok to wait...and appreciate that they know how and when to say "please" and "thank you." 

Just like any other job, it's a good thing when you are in high demand...it means you have a gift and a purpose to share with those who need you most. 

I want to be even more thankful that I am in high demand...

Beginning to Reflect on 2014

I've decided that I'm going to get back into blogging! 

All it takes is a decision and action! :) 

As we get to the end of 2014, it is a huge time of reflection for me! I've done this since I was a teenager. It's great to look back and see where I've been and plan and dream about where I am going. 

2014 has been a...year. I'm struggling with finding the right adjective to describe it. 

There were some really good, amazing, incredible things that happened...beautiful moments...but then there were some hard, dark, harsh moments too. 

Most people may not be aware of the dark moments that our family faced. And that is ok. Even though we live in an age of social media, where everyone is connected, but these moments were hard to describe. Every once in a while we might have asked for prayer or said we were having a hard time, but it wasn't a picture of the daily struggles we were facing. 

Lee was in a serious season of deep depression. Each day...each moment...was a struggle. I felt as if we had been robbed of our joy, and no matter what we did or what we prayed, we couldn't get it back. 

I knew it was bad...but often, I don't think I realized it was as bad as it was. 

We lived in survival mode. Just barely making it from one day to the next. 

I think the day that I realized it exactly how hard it had been was when a group of our UL Chi Alpha students came to Colorado for a camping trip and then came to Connection Church on the Sunday before they headed back to Louisiana. We hung out with them at Blair and Christian's apartment after church for a while, which was wonderful! 

I hadn't seen Lee that genuinely happy in a very long time. He was alive. He was himself. He was the man I had married. After that Sunday, I just kept crying as I thought about the glimpse of my husband I had seen. I missed him. 

That was one of the hardest seasons we have been through together. 

I personally went through a time of depression after we lost everything in our Uhaul fire and Hurricane Katrina demolished my hometown. And Lee was super supportive as we survived that time, even dealing with his own emotions and grief. 

This time around...3 little babies at home all day...it was extra difficult. 

I'm thankful for the grace of God. I'm thankful that He walked us through that season. And I'm happy to say that it is over! 

There is joy in our home and our lives again. We work hard to not live in a constant state of survival with our 3 little ones. This is such a demanding season of life with them, but we definitely want to enjoy it and embrace it! I know that it will not be like this forever, and I refuse to rush through it by wishing for the next season to come!

We are stronger because of the struggles we walk through together. And we can appreciate where we are now because of where we have been. 

Looking forward to 2015!!

Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." 

Making Sweet Lemonade

Lately my babies have seemed extra clingy and needy.

All of them.

They are constantly wanting to be held. Constantly wanting all of my attention.

And Breelee's breath-holding spells seem to happen more often when she's tired and not feeling well...and she's teething right now...so she has passed out a couple of times recently...which makes me feel like I can't do anything else except hold her.

Yesterday, Brennan fell asleep in the car. So I brought Breelee inside first. From the time I set her down to coming back inside with Brennan, she was on the floor passing out.

Just that fast.

Some of these days get really frustrating. OK, most of them...

I can't seem to finish the laundry or dishes or whatever I'm doing without a million interruptions and the threat of a little girl passing out.

But before I know it, these days will just be a memory.

You know that saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade..."

Well, I would rather remember it like sweet lemonade instead of bitter lemonade that made my lips pucker.

It takes a lot of thought and effort to take those moments and make the best of them.

I know that this is a season. I know that there will be times I will go to the restroom without an audience. I will be able to unload and reload the dishwasher without an interruption. I will be able to read a book without feeling guilty because my house will be clean and I won't have other things that I feel like I should be doing instead.

But for now, I need to keep making sweet lemonade with the moments that I do have with my babies.

It's my attitude that makes all the difference.

I want my babies to look back and have sweet memories instead of bitter ones.

Again, it is my attitude that will make all of the difference.


So, cheers! Here is to enjoying those lemons in some sweet lemonade!

This Is Only the Beginning! Connection Church 1 Year Celebration

Connection Church is 1 year old!!! 

We are so excited about all that God has done, and all that God is doing in us and through us. 

Connection Church is a beautiful, diverse community. And to be honest, they have become  family to us. 

Lee was responsible for editing 100 minutes of video interviews to show at the end of our 1 year celebration service. He trimmed it down to 7 minutes.

Thanks to our AppleTV, I was able to help him make selections of what should be included without both of us having to focus on the computer screen (we were able to stream it to our tv). It was hard to decide!! There was so much good footage...so many good things said!! Such beautiful stories of how people became a part of Connection Church and what God has done!!

Lee and I decided to move to Colorado ourselves after reading a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller. Shawn and Amy had already asked us to move here to be a part of the church plant...but reading this book together pushed us over the edge. 

It was all about living a story worth telling. If our life is a book, would someone want to keep reading, or would the book be put down after the first page? Would fiction have to be added to it to make it a movie that people would want to watch?

And through editing this video...we wanted to tell the story of Connection Church. 

This video really is just a short glimpse...I wish you could hear all of the stories...maybe someday you will!  It was awesome to know that each person didn't have a clue what the others said, and yet they all shared the same feelings: home, community, family, a place to belong... Lee and I just sat together crying as we listened to the stories and feelings each person shared!!

We are actually excited about next year's video as well...we know that there will be more stories, new faces, and even more reason to celebrate!!! :) 

Thank you for watching and celebrating with us!!! 

Connection Church Denver: 1 Year Celebration--This is only the beginning. from Lee Blakney on Vimeo.

Brennan is 3!

I can't believe that my little Bear is turning 3 years old today. 

It really doesn't seem like it has been 3 years since I delivered him!!

I love that little boy so much. 

He's so full of life and energy!!! 

He is all boy... I mean all boy. 

He hits, spits, kicks, karate chops just about anything and everything...and everyone. 

Yet, he can be so sweet and tender...






One of my favorite things is hearing him laugh with Bella...they are so silly together. And in true sibling fashion, they can be hitting and screaming at each other one minute and then giggling and hugging each other the next. 

It really is a special relationship that I love to watch develop more each day. 

It definitely falls into the category of, "I can hit my sister, but you better not lay a finger on her..." We have have already heard him defend her before...which was awesome! 







He also has a wonderful relationship with his little sister. 

He can also make Breelee laugh with just about anything that he does. 

He also can be soooo tough with her...but I love when he starts singing to her to calm her down. 

It really is precious to see how much they care about each other and are concerned for each other.






I love that my kids love each other. 


After hearing a sermon by Brad Bullock in Louisiana a while back, Lee & I decided to come up with a few things that we want our kids to have deep in their hearts...

For Brennan, we have these statements for him - and he finishes them for us::  

We say, "You are my..." he finishes with - "Bear"

We say, "You are so..." he finishes with - "strong" 

We say, "And you say..." he finishes with - "I can do all things through Jesus!" 

We feel honored that we have been entrusted to raise a strong, mighty man of God. 

My prayer for him is that he grows up desiring to have a relationship with God for himself...not because he feels like he has to...not because he knows that we want him to...but because he wants to himself. 

(And I know that will come from how Lee & I show him our relationship with God now.)

I pray that Brennan is covered by God's hand of protection and provision. 

I pray that Brennan will continue to love to learn. 

I pray that Brennan will enjoy life - and help everyone around him enjoy life as well...just like his daddy...


Loving God and loving others...that is what I want for him. 

My heart is full today as we celebrate the first 3 years of his little life!! 

The best is yet to come!!!

Here are just a few highlights of my baby boy! 

 I'll have more pictures of the superhero birthday party that we are having this weekend!! 

The Days Are Long but the Years Are Short

So...it's been a different season of life for me. 


I have been here in this season before, but it looks different with 3 kids. 

Somedays I feel like I haven't had 5 minutes pass without the little people touching me!

Breelee doesn't want me to be out of her sight. Sometimes I have to be within her reach for her to be happy. 

Lee & I went on a date while his parents were here for a visit. She didn't last too long with them...they said she was even saying "Mama" while we were gone. They said she knew who she wanted. 

And I know that this won't last forever...but it does make the days seem extra long. 

Either I'm holding her and not accomplishing anything else in my messy house...or I'm switching laundry over or loading the dishwasher with a crying baby who has crawled to find me and is pulling at my legs. 

The days are long but the years are short...

It wasn't too long ago that Bella and Brennan went through that stage. Sometimes it is even hard to remember it. 

Lee & I watched a video of Bella at about 2 years old...where Brennan is now... and it is crazy to hear her talk...her sweet little voice...and before I know it...Brennan will be talking even clearer than he is now. 

Just a few months ago, he kept asking for what we thought was "Hungry Hippos..." only to find out that it was actually "Super Heroes" which he can say very clearly now. 





The days are long but the years are short...

I've said it before, and I mean it...I don't want to rush to the next stage of life. I know it will have its own set of challenges and demands...

But I want to enjoy this one. And I believe God has given me grace to do so. 

I'm not a perfectionist when it comes to my house...some days I wish I was...but I've been told by my OCD friends that I should be happy that I'm not. I can enjoy time with my kids in my messy house. And really, before I know it...I will have all the time in the world to clean it. But I won't have these days with my babies again...3 kids under the age of 5...

I have heard too many moms of older kids say that they miss the days when their kiddos were little. I've heard women who have complications having kids say that they would trade my noisy, messy house for their quiet, clean house any day...



So I choose to embrace this season, no matter what the days may bring...because afterall...

The days are long but the years are short...

Blakney Family Update June 2013

Life is moving very quickly! This weekend makes 1 year since we've moved to Colorado!!!!

So much has happened!

Breelee is now 7 months old. Can't believe it. She's grown so much...she's sitting up on her own. She's eating big girl food. She's still sleeping great. Just unbelievable how fast it's gone by!

Breelee loves loves loves her brother and sister...they can make her laugh like no one else! And she loves her daddy too...she gets soooo excited when he gets home from work!

It is delightful to see her personality develop. And I cannot tell you how many compliments we get about her being a happy baby...yet again...an answer to prayer!

Brennan is potty-trained! He decided almost 2 weeks ago that he was done with diapers...he came home from church on Sunday and used the little potty and hasn't wanted to wear a diaper since. Yes, we've dealt with accidents, but he's getting better. And he's only had a couple of accidents during the night - he wears his big boy drawers to bed and keeps them dry! It is crazy to think that I haven't had to change his diaper in almost 2 weeks...

I mean, I've had to clean up his accidents, but before I know it...I won't have to clean those up either.



He is so funny...definitely all boy...rough and tough...but loves his momma! :) He has an amazing vocabulary and regularly asks to go back to Meme's house in Louisiana!



Bella is doing awesome. She is growing taller by the day! She finished prek at her amazing school...and we are debating on keeping her there next year (our other option is homeschooling...which if it doesn't begin this fall, we will begin the next one!!)

I've been working with her to learn to read...she's excited about it, and she can already read some short books! She has such a love for reading, which is an answer to prayers!

She still loves to sing and dance, which we hear and see all the time. She is sweet and sassy...and so much like me it is unreal. She is a helpful big sister...and I am so proud of the developing little lady she is becoming.

Her faith is growing in God...and that is beautiful to be a part of!


Our family is doing well. Lee is still working part-time with Apple. He doesn't have a "regular" schedule since he is part-time...and he doesn't always get a lot of hours, but we are praying that he will get to go "full-time" soon! That would be HUGE for our family!

We are so thankful for our support team members who continue to help us with their prayers and financial support. God is using you to provide for us...and we are blessed. A lot of times money is tight, but God takes such good care of meeting our needs!!

The church is doing great! I'm about to lead a women's online Bible study for our ladies, which I am sooooo excited about!! Plus I'm getting to plan some fun activities for the summer! I'm still helping teach kids church, running media occasionally, and singing on the worship team...but I'm also about to help more in the nursery...which I'm looking forward to loving on those babies!

Lee is doing great with the music and media. He doesn't have a ton of time to devote to meeting and finding new musicians to relieve those who are playing...but our team is dedicated to leading worship on Sunday mornings! We are so blessed to have them at Connection Church!

For those of you reading this, thank you for loving on our family. Thanks for praying for us and believing in us and with us. Thank you for encouraging us...even if you didn't know we even needed it! :)

Louisiana Lagniappe

I've MIA on my blog lately...It was because I spent 2 weeks in Louisiana...

It felt good to be back.

Honestly, part of it felt like I haven't been gone for almost a year now. Some things just haven't changed much at all.

I really enjoyed being at Crossroads Church in Lafayette for the Joie de Vivre Conference. Connection Church ladies, get ready...we're going to have a Joie de Vivre Conference of our own one day soon!

I walked away from that conference inspired and refreshed...ready to go back to minister to the wonderful ladies in our community!!

It was great to see friends...to hug necks and show off my kiddos...

And it was absolutely wonderful being with my parents. I'm so thankful for Skype and FaceTime...I get to "see" them a lot more often than I would if it wasn't for the internet...but there's something special about being in their home.

I've enjoyed my mom's cooking...hearing my dad play with my kids...and watching my mom put my littlest one to sleep. There's nothing else like that.

It was a good time had by all.

I know that Lee and I are where we are supposed to be in Colorado. We have followed God's call, just like our parents have taught us to do.

I'm thankful that I can get to my parents house in less than 3 hours on a plane...instead of 24 hours in a car!!!

Flying back by myself with 3 kids really wasn't bad at all. Bella had a minor meltdown due to another tooth coming loose and bleeding a little (she's totally my girl and gets freaked out by anything to do with blood), and Brennan's meltdown came at the end because he didn't want to stay buckled.

Other than that, we made it. No one was left behind or lost...not even toys. And no one got really sick on the plane (which is usually me...but I made it!) And I'm thankful for the super nice flight attendant who helped me fill water cups and make sure Bella was ok!! (Thanks Southwest Airlines!!)

And I know that I can do this again. And I plan on it.

I love Colorado. It is our home...but there is a special place in our hearts for Louisiana. We'll be visiting again as soon as we can!!!

Dunzo Days

I don't know why some days are harder than others. 

I don't know if it is my fluctuating hormones that cannot handle days like today. 

My kids don't seem to be doing anything they don't normally do. 

Bella asks the same thing a billion times only for me to give her the same answer a billion times. Persistence is one of her giftings. She can be relentless.

Brennan is into super heroes right now. Particularly the Hulk. He goes around the house knocking things over, jumping on things, breaking things, punching things and people... No matter how many times I say, "Keep your hands to yourself," he's not listening. 

Breelee is a super sweet baby...but she's my spit up queen. The other 2 did not require bibs very often. With this one, I have to change my clothes or hers multiple times a day. No matter if a bib or a burp clothe is in place, there will still have to be a wardrobe change at least once after the initial change of the day. 

And some days I find myself handling these situations with grace and patience. 

And other days I just want to pull my hair out. 

I know I have soooo much to be thankful for. Soooo much. 

I'm blessed. I know it. 

And there are a million things that I can remind myself of why I should be enjoying a day like today even when I'm not. 

Someday soon my babies will no longer be babies...they won't require my attention...they won't ask me a million times about anything...and I don't need or want to rush to that season of life. 

My prayer for days like today when I just feel dunzo (completely done...nothing left in me...drained...no patience) is this: 

"Lord, help me to embrace these moments, even in the midst of my chaos."

And I know that He has and I know that He will. 

And I'm so very thankful that my good days outnumber my rough ones. 

A Month of Sickness

My little family is normally pretty healthy. We don't have to go to the doctor a lot...

Brennan has had some sinus/ear infections...and Bella had some issues like that when she was his age...but that's about it.

But this almost 6,000 feet above sea level has brought our immune systems down!! :)

Multiple people in this house have had stomach bugs and colds for the past month now. It's insane!!

We just can't seem to get rid of it. Even company that came in over the holidays got sick while they were here!

And poor little Breelee has a cold now too...I'm just thankful she didn't get the stomach bug...that would have scared me so bad!!

The cold is bad enough. We're all miserable. At one point in the car, there was 4 of us coughing at one time! My nose is raw...my head has been hurting...and Breelee is about the same too...

It's been a long time since I've been sick back to back...and it has not been fun at all!!! And I have to be careful of what I take since I'm breastfeeding...but really with a cold, I am just treating the symptoms and not really curing anything!

And it gets difficult taking care of kiddos while I'm sick. I've had to pray for extra grace to be nice to my kids...the little irritations that I can normally handle seem magnified while I'm not feeling good. Thankfully we've had friends to play with when I've been at my worst...and Lee's schedule has cooperated too...he hasn't had to take off or miss a shift yet.

But we are making it. I feel so behind on housework, but I know I'll catch up someday.

It is fun to find a Netflix show or movie to watch with the kids and just relax while we all recover. I know that these days are rare and I need to enjoy every moment that I can!!!

And I know that this too shall pass...and we'll all be better soon...

Interruptions

I've started writing about half a dozen blog posts and then stop...

Some kind of interruption...something is going on.

Everyone has been sick - except for Breelee thankfully! - Bella was even too sick to participate in the kids' song for our Christmas production. My song was the next song after that, and I ended up taking the kids home as soon as I was finished. It wasn't what I thought it would be for sure!! But I'm glad it went well!!! We had the largest crowd since our launch day in September! That is exciting!!!!!

The week has just been hard. Bella's teacher said yesterday that she noticed Bella wasn't her usual self. This sickness has just wiped all of us out. I feel like I can't catch up on cleaning anything...

But thankfully last night was a vomit-free night...the first in a week.

We've had to adjust to Lee's work schedule too. With the training and then the holidays, he's stayed busy, and we know that will slow down after the new year. He is only working part-time...so our financial support team members & other friends who have given to us are helping us be able to be a part of the church plant.

I've only felt overwhelmed a few times. It is at night when we are all getting tired and Lee isn't home yet...that is when it's a little hard. And Breelee has had some fussy evenings.

But we are making it. Again, this is the best I've felt after having a baby. It's a true blessing that I don't want to take for granted. If I would have been the way that I was after I had Bella...it would not be a fun time for any of us.

But I'm able to go out with 3 kids - even to the mall. I like going with Lee before he has a shift or even meeting him on his lunch break and eating with him. It's on my way out alone that I usually get looks and comments of "you have your hands full..." or "you are brave..."

Well, thank you...I'll take that as a compliment! I do feel brave, even when Brennan starts screaming as we leave a store. If I wasn't brave, I would stay home all the time, and I just can't do that. I don't want to do that.

I'm considering getting one of those sit-and-stand strollers. That way I'll be able to contain 2 and Bella can walk along side of it. Right now I can carry Breelee in my ring sling, which is wonderful and easy, but like today, I didn't have it in the car like I thought I did...and I carried her around the mall instead of Brennan running around and having to chase him. Thankfully she's still pretty light and Brennan stays in the stroller for the most part!!!

It really is interesting being a mom of 3. Again, it is a blessing from God that I don't want to take for granted...I know there are many women who would love to be in my shoes...even on my craziest of days...

I have my challenging moments...but I mean, I had challenging moments when Brennan and Bella were newborns.

Bella is a wonderful helper. Brennan is too. They both love love love Breelee so much. so much. And I know that it could be a lot worse. The biggest problem is when Breelee is screaming and Brennan wants to be held and Bella needs help putting on or taking off her princess dress. Or when Brennan and Bella are chasing each other and screaming...all in fun...until someone gets hurt.

But, I am thankful that God has chosen to give us 3 happy, healthy babies. And if my blog writing slows down for a little bit because of some distractions and interruptions, I'll take it!!! I can always write more in the future, but I won't ever get this season of life back again. Bring on the interruptions!! (as I've been stopped writing this about a dozen times by Bella asking me to paint her nails...It is so special to be a mom!!)

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Christmas time is here. It's a fun time of celebration with our kids.

Buford the elf has been visiting our house for a few weeks now. The first thing that Bella does when she wakes up in the morning is rush downstairs to see where Buford has moved to. She loves it!! It is fun to watch her face light up with delight. If Buford is at a place low enough for Brennan to touch him, she freaks out and begs us to move him so Brennan won't touch him...Because if Buford is touched, he'll lose his Christmas magic.

We really haven't talked up Santa too much. She makes a big enough deal on her own. But if you ask her what Santa is getting her for Christmas, she says "A Leap Ipad..."and if you asked her what Meme and Popie are getting her for Christmas, she'll say, "A Leap Ipad..." And it's probably true...Popie is more of a Santa Clause than the real one...always has been :)

And if you ask her why we celebrate Christmas, she'll say, "It's Jesus' birthday!" And yes, we do celebrate Jesus' birthday. Cake and all.

And she's super excited about our first Christmas production at Connection Church this coming Sunday (December 16th at 10 am at Mountain Ridge Middle School...check out makeconnection.org for more info if you are in the Denver area!!!) She has been practicing her song for the children's part...and we're going to go shopping for a new dress...and she's even practicing my song for the production with me. This girl loves to sing!

 
And...to top it all off...there's snow! That's something new for all of us!! And now that we have the right boots and gloves for Bella & Brennan, they love playing in it!!! They even had a snowball fight with each other!!!

Last night we made our annual Blakney gingerbread house. The hardest part was keeping Brennan from eating the candy before and after it was on the house! He is still trying to get to it today!!!!



It really is a fun time for our family. This is such a different, new season of life for us...but we are enjoying each moment...we are embracing all that God has for us this Christmas. Bella told us last night, "This is the best Christmas ever!" And it is true...each year of celebration for us is better than the one before.

Not What I Expected

It has almost been 6 months since we moved from Louisiana.

I can say that things have not gone like I thought they would - good or bad...

I didn't think that we would get a house 4 doors down from Shawn & Amy (our pastors and friends who invited us to move up here to be a part of this adventure at Connection Church!) And we love love love our house. We are still renting - even though it is for sale by owner - and we are planning to buy it as soon as we can. 

I wasn't really sure where we would be living...but I'm thrilled we are where we are. We live in a fabulous neighborhood with the most wonderful neighbors!! We love it!

I didn't think it would take Lee over 6 months to get a job. He applied for the Apple store back in April before we moved, and he talked to them as soon as we moved here in June. And then he went through 4 interviews. 4. And the last one was back at the end of September or October. His first day was December 1st. 

I still believe God's timing is perfect. And the Apple store is the perfect part-time job for Lee. The hours are flexible...and he will be able to still focus on the work he does for the church as well as be with our family. He has loved the training he has been a part of...and I know he's going to excel working there. And Bella will be excited if we ever go to see him on a lunch break - the mall is her favorite place to go. Such a girl!!!

I didn't expect God's provision to come to us through such extreme measures. Diapers on our doorstep, a huge box of meat and meals delivered in the mail, checks in the mail, and meals provided by people we have met within the past few months...It's overwhelming to think of His goodness...and how good His people have been to us. We are blessed!!

The holidays seem so much harder to be away from family and friends back in Louisiana (and Lee's family in Texas). We know that God has called us here...but that doesn't always make it easier. And we have great friends now here...and actually, our love for Louisiana draws us closer to each other. There really is no other place like it. Just today on our way to drop off Bella at school, we passed up a pond...and Bella said, "Look Mom, that's my swamp...the alligators live there." And I wasn't able to convince her that alligators don't live there...she will have to see them next summer when she goes back to visit Louisiana. 

I didn't think I would be doing this well after having a baby. I wasn't extremely negative...I was trying to be realistic. I knew my hormones would be crazy...but besides the few baby blues days I've had...I've been really happy...I've enjoyed taking care of all 3 kids (and Lee too...and he's been wonderful at taking care of me.) But my weight loss is going good...I feel great...my biggest frustration is finding a pair of jeans that fit!!! 

I've said this before, I don't think I knew what to expect when we moved. This is so different from everything we've known and done for all of our lives. 

But it is an exciting adventure that we are on...and God has been (and will continue to be) with us every step of the way. I'm so glad that His ways are higher than ours...and with Him, we are trying our best to live a story that is worth telling. 

Taking a risk for God is totally worth it. 

Baby Blues

I did great for the first week. I felt great. Physically, emotionally, even spiritually...I was doing good.

Then Friday rolled around. A week and a day after I had Breelee...

And the baby blues hit me like an avalanche.

I cried all day long. About everything.

It started with a frustrating moment with our trash pick up service (or lack thereof)...which is a whole different story...but anyways, that frustration triggered an onset of emotions.

Frustration brought on tears...and then the tears didn't stop all day. Everything made me cry.

Then I started feeling homesick. It's cold here. The holidays are approaching...and I haven't seen my family since May. And I know it will be a while before I get to see them again. And everyone is going to be at my parents house for Thanksgiving this year...even those who haven't been in years...

And it's hard in a hormonal, emotional state to decipher what's reality and what's fleeting emotions.

At least I was aware that no major decisions would be made on Friday or Saturday (yes, the crying continued into part of Saturday, too).

I know my hormones are going through a 3-ring circus right now. Everything is changing in me physiologically...which is affecting my emotions...and I refuse to make decisions based on my emotions alone.

So, I just cried.

I couldn't talk to Lee without tearing up about whatever words were coming out of my mouth...if I could even get the words out of my mouth - whether that was about the stupid trash or which neighbor was bringing dinner over that night or the beautiful table that he refinished...everything - good or bad - had me a big ball of mess.

And then part of me feels like it was just the slightest bit spiritual. Just a little. I hate over-spiritualizing things.

But, I had just written a blog post the day before about how much peace we felt from God in our house. Now, looking back, I feel like that was being challenged by the enemy. And I feel like I didn't rely enough on God in my crazy state of emotions.

I'm not beating myself up about this now...I started feeling much better yesterday, and then last night we had dinner with Shawn & Amy, and we laughed together, and they encouraged us, and we walked from their house to our house feeling refreshed...

I did journal on Friday and Saturday. I did write honestly about how I was feeling...even if it was irrational. And I believe that is part of what helped me through this bout of baby blues. And I know that when I look back on it in a few days I'll be able to learn even more about myself in that experience.

(*Side note - now when I want to journal and the kids are awake, I turn on some worship music and get out a notebook for each of them and they draw and "write" like I do...it's a good time for all of us.)

 Hormones are a crazy part of pregnancy and post-partumn. They can wreak havoc on a woman and affect the rest of her family as well. I do not want to stifle my emotions, but I refuse to let them control me. I don't feel like I did or thought anything that I regret - I didn't act on those emotions. That's why journaling is so safe for me. I can process it first that way.

* I can say that after having Bella, I now think that I had post-partumn depression and just didn't get treated. The description of it says that if you don't want to take care of your baby or yourself, then you have it. Well, my problem was that I wanted to take care of her, and nursing wasn't working out for us. I cried too much...even though I was taking care of her and myself ok. I still should have gotten help. (Don't let that be the part of the description that is keeping you from getting help if you need it!!)

This is a whole new experience for us...3 kids...1400 miles away from all we've ever known...a new community...a new way of life...it really is a whole new trusting God experience.

But, we are living a story worth telling. And even when my emotions are in a chaotic state, I can trust God that He has my best interest in mind.

Week 1 with a Newborn...

Breelee is officially one week old.

She's been a part of the outside world for a whole week now. a whole week!

God has really given me grace for this time around post-partumn.

This is the best I've felt...it's unbelievable to me.

I've hardly had the baby blues...I have only cried a couple of times. My hormones feel pretty balanced.

Physically, I feel great. I mean, I'm still a little sore...and my back hurts as my hips are readjusting, but I am getting around great. Ladies, this is a bonus for going natural!! :)

Breelee is a phenomenal sleeper. I don't want to take that for granted at all. At all...

Bella was a fussy baby from the get-go...Brennan had his days and nights mixed up and was nursing every 2 hours. But this girl...she likes to sleep (definitely her momma's child there!) Since we've been using the gas drops, she's been sleeping 3 hours...wakes up, nurses...and stays away for 20 minutes or so and then goes back to sleep. Hallelujah!! Last night, she slept for 4 hours, nursed, went back to sleep for 4 more hours...so I slept great! I'm soooo thankful for that.

I can say that being prepared before hand - the whole "knowing my trigger points"- has helped tremendously...(click here to read that blog post)

I'm glad that I got my hair cut before hand...it really has helped me feel better. I love it and it's super easy to fix...but it has made me feel more like me...so I'm just glad that I didn't wait until after she was born...

Also, I have been doing my make-up every day, even if I'm just staying at home and I know no one is coming over...it just helps me feel good.

And, since I hadn't gained a ton of weight this time, my belly has shrunk tremendously. Clothes still don't fit the same since my hips feel about a mile apart from each other...but I have 2 black maternity t-shirts that I'm wearing the threads out of. They fit really good and I feel good wearing them. So, I just make sure that I wash one soon enough to wear the next day...because they have both been spit up on already :)

And with the flexibility that we have right now, Lee is able to be home to help me as much as he can. It's wonderful being together as a family of 5. We really are the Fantastic Five. Our kids love Breelee...they are thrilled to have her here. And because she's such a wonderful sleeper, I'm able to lay her in her Rock and Play sleeper (thanks to my Mom and Dad!!) and spend time snuggling and playing with Bella and Brennan. It's been fabulous.

Thank you to all who have prayed for our family. Sure, it has been sad knowing we are sooo far from friends and family. I'm thankful for Skype and FaceTime, but it's not the same as my mom and dad actually getting to hold my newest little girl...or having everyone come over to our house.

We've been blessed to be a part of a great community and family here, though. The Thornton family (living here as a transplant from Vidalia) brought a meal to church for us on Sunday, and Amy was able to bring it to us on her way home. Lara, our friend and fellow member of our launch team, came over last night and cooked for us and watched tv with us (which is one of our favorite things to do)...and then Rachel, a neighbor who lives down the street (living here so her husband can go to seminary), brought us dinner tonight. And there are other friends who are planning on bringing food, too!! Plus, our neighbor Kelly has come to get Bella to play with her 3 year old daughter...which makes Bella very excited!!! We are just so blessed by all of this - even at 1400 miles away from home!!

Thanks also to all of you who have blessed us financially. We've been given things for the baby...including diapers!!! And the cards and checks that come in the mail are so encouraging...and knowing that God is taking care of us during this time is encouraging us more than you'll ever know. He is our provider...and He uses His people to be a part of His provision. It is humbling and exciting all at the same time!

There is a great sense of peace that is permeating our home. We know that the presence of God is here with us. It's almost overwhelming...in a good way...such a beautiful thing. When it could be chaotic and out of control...we are resting fully in the fact that we know that God is with us, and He is in control.