Monday, May 30, 2011

Marriage Maintenance - Communication II

Communication Part II -

Pastor David Baudoin at our church, Crossroads Church in Lafayette, oversees the pastoral care and counseling for the church. Admittedly, it is something that he loves.

Lee asked him if he ever does "how to keep a marriage healthy" counseling. Pastor David said, "Establish couch time."

I had heard of this before in a book that changed my parenting life - Baby Wise. Oh my helped us get Bella to be the awesome sleeper that she is.

Anyways, "Couch Time" is where for 15-20 minutes after Dad gets home from work and says his hellos to the kids, he sits on the couch with mom and they talk. It can be about their day, dreams, whatever...And dad can say to the kids when they come up to him, "No, this is Mommy's time with Daddy."

So, since we are often outside when Lee gets home from work, or we meet him somewhere after he gets off, we are going to call it "Talk Time." It will be our time to talk about the day or whatever we want. It is time for us.

This is not selfish...this is healthy. Our kids need to see that we love each other, that we want to be with each other...and honestly, mommy and daddy come first to each other. There will be time for Lee to chase Bella around the yard or pull grass out of Brennan's mouth (the boy loves to eat grass - he's such a boy!!!)...but when Daddy gets home, he's going to have a few uninterrupted minutes with Mommy. Bella will be told to wait. Brennan will eventually be told to wait. And as they get older, they will learn not to interrupt this time unless someone is bleeding to death...and I really hopes that never happens, but I know that it could.

A healthy marriage is the best gift we can give to our children...and really to everyone around us.

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