Monday, April 2, 2012

Higher than Mine...

It's been a rough few weeks.

I've been nauseated and exhausted...not a fun combination for anyone - me, Lee, or the kids. 

We've been making it, but it sure is tough right now. 

I just want to sleep, but I have insomnia and wake up at 3 in the morning and can't get back to sleep. And during the day all I want to do is lay on the couch because if I get up I'm going to vomit. 

Just not a lot of fun. 

But, I know that sickness in the early stage is a good sign...and it's a good sign that I still feel pregnant. That was one of the things that amazed me about the miscarriage is that I went from feeling pregnant to NOT feeling pregnant at all. So, like I said, this is a really good sign. 

I do still wonder what God is doing. I mean 3 kids...so close together. 

And as much as I want to freak out about this, there's nothing else I can do except trust Him that He knows what He's doing way better than I do. 

Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

He knows what He's doing. I can trust that. 

My life would not look anything like it does now if I had only trusted myself and chose my own way. I'm not adventurous. I wouldn't choose to take risks. But things God has asked me to do has stretched my faith as I've trusted that He knows what He's doing. This is just another instance of learning to trust in Him.

He's going to provide everything this child needs. This child will not be forsaken. Neither will I. 

(This picture is from when I was pregnant with Bella...but it's crazy that I'll be looking like this again in no time!)


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