Rejoicing and Mourning...

I'm starting to feel better during the day...which is a miracle. Thank you for those who have been praying. 


And I know that I'm getting closer to the second trimester because I'm starting to get a little more energy. Last night as I was picking up toys in the living room, Lee said, "you must be feeling better..." It was definitely noticeable. 


And as I get closer to the second trimester, I still have a little fear of losing this baby too. 


I mean, I know it can happen. 


Thanks to social media, I am aware of a lot more friends who are either in the process of getting pregnant, wanting to be pregnant, or losing a baby...even full-term babies. Those are rare, but it still happens. 


This is all such a painful process. 


I don't want to take my healthy kids for granted. 


I don't want to take this pregnancy for granted...even if it doesn't go like I think it will. 


It amazes me the women who get pregnant without any plans or complications...and then it amazes me that there are so many women who want to be pregnant so badly and yet they remain barren for years and years...sometimes forever. 


I don't understand. I definitely don't have any answers. It's hard for me to even think of words to comfort those who are mourning in this area. And I know that life is hard for these ladies and their families...seeing and hearing of other's pregnancy joys can bring sorrow and bitterness...


All I can do is pray and trust God that He knows what is best. 


And those words seem so calloused sometimes...and unless they are accompanied by His peace, they offer no comfort. 


Romans 12 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I'm currently working on memorizing the whole chapter - all 21 verses. There is so much power and encouragement in those verses. I want them in my heart. 


Verse 15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."


And that is what I will do. And I believe God gives us grace to do both at the same time. Rejoice with those who are pregnant and have babies...and mourn with those who are still longing. 


God's grace is enough for me...all that I need to rejoice and mourn...and live life to the fullest no matter what my circumstances may look like.