So, I've written about this before. I'm not a neat-freak...I do wish that I was, and I get told by my neat-freak, OCD friends that I don't want to be that way. And I know that they are right.
I don't want to live wearing a white glove.
I would just like to get rid of clutter once and for all - and not get rid of it only to have more. To not have to worry about cleaning up all of the time. There is always something to clean up, and toys scattered from one end to the other, and a never ending pile of laundry (clean or dirty) or dishes.
And I think about how embarrassing it is sometimes to have people come to my house when it's not perfect. How doors are closed and I don't want anyone to see what may be behind those doors. Oh, I know it's never perfect, but when it's clean enough for me to think that it's close enough to being perfect. I don't like for people to know that I'm a mess. That's just my pride.
Pastor Shawn Marcell this past weekend at church said that he loves discipleship most of all in ministry. He likes it even though it's messy. It's messy to get involved in someone else's life and help them along the way. It's never perfect. It's not an easy journey. But there is joy in walking along someone's life and sharing in their best and worst moments.
I need to open up more and let people into my messy life. I tend to hold people at arm's length because I don't want them to know my issues...to see my problems...to see my mess. I don't know why I feel like I have to appear perfect.
I know that there are some people who say that they will become a Christ-follower once they have their "act" cleaned up. Once they get things together and in order, then they will make the decision to follow Jesus Christ.
It doesn't work that way. First, you can't really clean up your life and keep it perfectly clean all by yourself. It just won't work. Second, it's not the way it was meant to be.
Jesus died for us, He paid the price for our sin so that we can come to Him, and He will forgive us, cleanse us. No matter how much I try, I cannot cleanse myself of sin. I can only ask for the Blood of Jesus to cleanse me. And I have to trust God that He will do this when I ask - and then be done with it. Let it go. Move on. Keep moving forward in my faith.
As much as I would love to clean my house one good time and have it stay that way forever...it won't happen. People live here. Little messy people. I live here. So, I have to keep cleaning, even when I don't want to. It may not always look like the way I want it to, but it is always a work in progress. And I can keep letting people in, even though it's not perfect.
I'm not perfect. Yet I still have the freedom to boldly come before Jesus and ask Him to keep working on me. And I will let other people into my life to share this journey with me. They will see my imperfections. They will see my faults. They will experience with me my joys and sorrows. And together we will work towards becoming more like Christ.
I'm thankful He's not watching over my life with a white glove. His arms are open and waiting for me. And I know He's not wearing a white glove because, according to the Bible, I can see His nail-scarred hands.