I've been given (or bought for myself) several marriage books over the years.
It's true that it takes a lot of work to make a marriage work, and there are a few books that have really helped me understand how to make our marriage better.
One of the books was a little, tiny thing...something about "How to be the wife your husband has always desired..." I can't remember the title, and due to the fire, I don't think I have it anymore - and to be fair, Lee had the other one, "How to be the husband your wife has always desired..."
Anyways, the thing that stuck out to me the most about this book was this piece of advice:
"Let boys be boys and play with their toys."
The author talked about how much better of a husband her man was after he was able to go out and ride 4wheelers with his friends. And she stressed about letting him go BEFORE she asked him to finish the honey-do list...And that he often came home ready to tackle her list without her ever mentioning it to him.
This has been true in our relationship.
It's so important for Lee to spend time with guys and me to spend time with girls. Not all of our time has to be spent with each other. And not all of our time has to be spent at home.
Lee pays more attention to me after he's been hanging out with guys. He's more affectionate towards me and the kids. He's also more ready to wrestle and tickle...forcing me to be more playful than I normally am. And he's more than happy to stay with the kids and let me get out for a while.
Our marriage is a partnership. We are two individuals who are joined together as one...but we don't lose our own identities...and we don't live separate lives either. It's a delicate balance. And we have to work hard to make sure that it doesn't get out of balance.
I know that Lee loves me just as much if not more after he's had a time of being a boy. I can't explain it. I'm sure there is some physiological explanation that I'm totally unaware of. But I will settle for the proof in the tender hug and kiss I get from him when he gets home after he has been out with the guys.
There's nothing wrong with a boy being a boy.