Not What I Expected

It has almost been 6 months since we moved from Louisiana.

I can say that things have not gone like I thought they would - good or bad...

I didn't think that we would get a house 4 doors down from Shawn & Amy (our pastors and friends who invited us to move up here to be a part of this adventure at Connection Church!) And we love love love our house. We are still renting - even though it is for sale by owner - and we are planning to buy it as soon as we can. 

I wasn't really sure where we would be living...but I'm thrilled we are where we are. We live in a fabulous neighborhood with the most wonderful neighbors!! We love it!

I didn't think it would take Lee over 6 months to get a job. He applied for the Apple store back in April before we moved, and he talked to them as soon as we moved here in June. And then he went through 4 interviews. 4. And the last one was back at the end of September or October. His first day was December 1st. 

I still believe God's timing is perfect. And the Apple store is the perfect part-time job for Lee. The hours are flexible...and he will be able to still focus on the work he does for the church as well as be with our family. He has loved the training he has been a part of...and I know he's going to excel working there. And Bella will be excited if we ever go to see him on a lunch break - the mall is her favorite place to go. Such a girl!!!

I didn't expect God's provision to come to us through such extreme measures. Diapers on our doorstep, a huge box of meat and meals delivered in the mail, checks in the mail, and meals provided by people we have met within the past few months...It's overwhelming to think of His goodness...and how good His people have been to us. We are blessed!!

The holidays seem so much harder to be away from family and friends back in Louisiana (and Lee's family in Texas). We know that God has called us here...but that doesn't always make it easier. And we have great friends now here...and actually, our love for Louisiana draws us closer to each other. There really is no other place like it. Just today on our way to drop off Bella at school, we passed up a pond...and Bella said, "Look Mom, that's my swamp...the alligators live there." And I wasn't able to convince her that alligators don't live there...she will have to see them next summer when she goes back to visit Louisiana. 

I didn't think I would be doing this well after having a baby. I wasn't extremely negative...I was trying to be realistic. I knew my hormones would be crazy...but besides the few baby blues days I've had...I've been really happy...I've enjoyed taking care of all 3 kids (and Lee too...and he's been wonderful at taking care of me.) But my weight loss is going good...I feel great...my biggest frustration is finding a pair of jeans that fit!!! 

I've said this before, I don't think I knew what to expect when we moved. This is so different from everything we've known and done for all of our lives. 

But it is an exciting adventure that we are on...and God has been (and will continue to be) with us every step of the way. I'm so glad that His ways are higher than ours...and with Him, we are trying our best to live a story that is worth telling. 

Taking a risk for God is totally worth it. 

What if It's Not a Girl...

I am currently doubting the ultrasound determining the gender of this baby...

I don't know why...I can't seem to accept that it is a girl. I mean...they aren't 100% when they do these things...and although it looked like a girl...I just don't know...maybe I was secretly hoping for a boy and can't get over it...

It hasn't helped that when I go for my regular check-ups now, the heart rate is considered a boy rate (which is slightly slower than a girls)...and it has been...so much so that the nurses have asked if I'm having a boy...not much of a confidence booster there!!!

One of the nurses told me that is an old wives tale...but most of my pregnancy symptoms have been similar to my pregnancy with Brennan instead of Bella, which was why we went into our ultrasound convinced that we were having a boy!!

I'm at 35 1/2 weeks. I could go into labor in a week and a half and have a full-term, healthy baby.

And, of course thanks to this wonderful preggo insomnia, I'm awake at 5 am (and have been for over an hour now)...and this "feeling" of uncertainty is driving me crazy! And I really have no one to talk to about this paranoia! :)

I'm even looking into the imaging centers in Denver to have another ultrasound done!!! (OK, so I'm not really going to get one...but I'm thinking about it!)

And part of...ok, all of the pressure I'm feeling is brought upon myself...I am in control of how I respond to these feelings...and I shouldn't let anyone else be the determining factor of how I feel...

Getting things ready...having a name picked out...what to bring to the hospital.

Really, none of that matters. I'm not a huge fan of "gender neutral" things, but what I already have has been used by both my little girl and little boy - except for the plethora of clothes that were mostly given to us.

Either way it goes, this baby will be fed, clothed, and have a place to sleep...which is pretty much all that is required. And I am sure I'll go into labor naturally...and I have no clue whatsoever when that will be...

And I plan on bringing girl and boy clothes to the hospital with us. Last 2 times I lucked out...well, kinda...

Bella was so tiny...the clothes that I had brought for her were all too big...even the newborn dress she came home in was big on her!

So, I assumed that Brennan would be a small baby. Not at all. I just remember rolls everywhere. The first thing I said when they laid him on me was, "Oh my, that's a big baby..." And the clothes I had brought for him were too small! I had one outfit that fit him, luckily...or he would have come home naked! :)

Anyways, this baby Blakney #3 has been a surprise all the way around. God has a purpose and a plan for all of this...the pregnancy, the baby, our family...even to the point of timing...I'll be having a baby around the same time that I had a miscarriage last year...and I believe God's timing and will are perfect...

So, I know that this is not worth stressing about.

If you are thinking of sending a gift or something to us...diapers and gift cards are much appreciated!! I do plan on finishing our registry at Babies R Us this week. There will be quite a few gender neutral things on it - just in case!!

And we don't mind at all if you wait until after the baby is born to pick it out!